No thank you, I’m being good.

What a vile phrase.

Be honest, don’t you just hate those women who turn down chocolate, or crisps, or cake. Who say phrases such as “oh, I’ve been so lazy, I must get back to the gym.”

Worse still, the ones who pose in their gym kit. Do you know what? We don’t want to see your perfect body, we don’t want to hear about your 5 mile run and under no circumstance do we have any desire to see several pictures of your most recent yoga pose. We do not admire you, we actively dislike you and we think you are smug.

Women like this make me feel physically sick.

Readers of this blog will be aware that I am horribly insecure, and in need of constant acceptance and reassurance. I’m an attention seeker who wears a daily mask of confidence and control, it comes off in the evening and my husband pays the price. He deals with my anxiety, my self loathing and the real me. (he loves me anyway- crazy man!)

Then I started to think.

What if these women wear a mask too? What if that picture shared on Facebook, the one with their stick thin legs and tiny arse in the air, is really a front? A plead for attention and acceptance? The mask that says, “I’m OK, look how OK I am.”

Those women who are “good” who worry about the cake they eat, are they really seeking the expected reply “you don’t need to be good- you look lovely” or is their mask up too. The mask of someone in control.

There is someone I fear, for no particular reason, they make me feel superior and insignificant all at once. They make me angry and they make me feel sad. In my head they despise me and feel that they are better than me. In reality they probably rarely even think about me.

Perhaps this person wears a mask too? Perhaps the things I dislike are a front, their own plea for acceptable and reassurance.

What would life be like without those masks? What if we all said what we thought and showed how we felt?

Would it really be that bad?

Really?

Dare to try?

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2 thoughts on “No thank you, I’m being good.

  1. Could you imagine how good that would feel to say what you really mean? This is the main reason I try to stay off fakebook, I’m sick of people doctoring pictures to suit their own needs. However, I am guilty of this too, I’ve just realised. I looked through my pictures yesterday and realised that I look like a normal human being, no crying/pjs at 4pm/no makeup pictures, for me! And also, take it from someone who looks perfectly ok on the outside, I’m horribly insecure on the inside. X

    • Friends always say they are surprised by my PND. “But you look so happy on Facebook”. So I guess there is no reason to assume that everyone is as happy and perfect as they seem. Why do we all insist on telling lies? It just makes our insecurities bigger.

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