To the little girl holding on to her mummy’s leg.

To the little girl holding on to her mummy’s leg.

I see you, with your white blonde hair and your blushing cheeks. I see your confidence and I see your fear. I see your nervousness and and I see your pride. 

I watch as you flit between shy and self sure. I admire you. So determined to stand up for what you believe in, so uncompromising in your view and so eager to speak for, and to protect those who you think need you.

Yet you hold on to your mothers leg. Both arms wrapped fully round, your cheek on her thigh as you hide your face from the grown up you don’t yet know, not ready to face that challenge yet, not alone and not now.

I listen as you shout and scream and stamp your feet. Others would call this a tantrum, but I know differently, I know that this is your anger, your anger at what you see as injustice in a world you do not understand.

You love and you trust without reservations. You have been hurt, but have not yet learnt to associate this with other people.

You play schools, and mummys and daddys. You see a great life ahead of you and show no fear or apprehension for the journey that will take you there.

And yet you tightly grip your mothers hand. Exploring, learning and developing, but stretching out from your mother only as far as the length of your combined arms. You are not willing to let go, not ready, not quite yet.

You will go far. You will be successful.

You will fall out with your mother. You will feel angry and let down. Your teenage years will see you frequently let go and return again to that hand and those arms. A place of stability in a world you learn the hard way is not perfect.

You have taught me so much. I envy your fearlessness, envy your pride.

Your games will become a reality. You will become both a teacher and a mother. You will start to doubt yourself more and more. 

If I could speak to you now I would tell you not to change. I would tell you to hold on to that fire, hold on to that fragility and to continue to see the world as your own. Continue to bounce back and continue to trust. Most of all continue to love.

You will be that mother, with a daughter holding onto your leg. She will have dark hair and eyes that hold a lifetime of happiness. Her laugh will reignite in you the fight. Keep that determination, you will need it. She will hold your hand and your heart. Like you, she will one day let go of one, but you know she will always hold the other.

You are amazing. Truly amazing. Never forget that. You will do amazing things and bring amazing happiness to a lot of people.

The future is yours. It is a scary place, but you can do it.

With love,
Your future self.

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