A life of contradictions.

Does anyone else battle internally on a regular basis? My life appears to be one big contradiction.

I want to be a feminist and the perfect little wife.

I want to be strong, but I want to be looked after.

I am proud of judging people on merit not looks, but I so want to be beautiful.

I want me time, but I don’t want to give up my commitments.

I want to be noticed, but I want to hide away behind an invisibility cloak.

I want to stand out, and I want to be “normal”.

I want to be happy, but not forgotten.

I want to be fit and healthy, but still vulnerable enough to be looked after.

I want to be honest to the world, but I also want everyone to think I am great.

I want to be a grown up, and a fairy.

I want to be whisked off my feet, and be the only two people in the world, but I want everyone to know how happy I am.

I want to be myself, and to be someone else.

I want people to like me, and I want to not care if they don’t.

I want a fight, but not a reason for one.

I want to stand up for my beliefs, but not to have to defend myself.

I want to be recognised for my intelligence, but also seen as “girly”.

I am beginning to see why my brain is so confused. Perhaps I need to pick a side. What is more important to me?


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