I’ve found it! The Meaning of Life.

I stumbled upon it, almost by accident, tripping over it as I searched for happiness.

It came to me in the form of Stephen Fry. Or rather, in his voice. Stephen Fry has just narrated a series of short animations for the British Humanist Association.

I do not belong to any Humanist groups, but I do consider myself a humanist. My husband and I did not have a religious wedding and we chose a Humanist Naming and Welcome Ceremony for our daughter rather than a Christening. I respect other peoples religions and views on the world but I have never felt religious myself. I first researched Humanism after my grandfather’s funeral, saddened by the suggestion that God will comfort those who believe and that if you are Christian then you will receive support. It angered me that a time of grief I felt was being lectured about God.  I felt that there had to be a way to celebrate life and to guide people to live good and just lives without it being because God told them to. For me, humanism fits. It makes sense. It just works.

So, anyway, I stumbled across this animation, and I had a light bulb moment.

At first glance, I can see that a video about death, being the catalyst for me finding a reason for life, may seem a little contradictory, but, think about it.

Here and Now.

Meaning and Purpose.

For the one life we have.

This is it folks. I realise that to some that may seem a bit depressing, frightening even, but for me it has given me a burst of energy and positivity.

This is it.

This is all there is.

ENJOY IT.

I will live on in the minds of those who I loved, and who loved me. The good things I have done with my life, will have an impact on the world I am in, the world my daughter (and any future children and grandchildren) will grow up in.

This inspired me to watch the other animations on this page, and “How can I be happy” sums up exactly the conclusion I had come to myself.

The time to be happy is now.

I can do it,  and I will do it. In fact, I’m doing it now!

These animations have really given me the kick I needed to get up and get on. And to do that with a genuine smile on my face, not a mask, a genuine smile.

I am not naïve, I have post natal depression and I know that this will not go away with the discovery of a cool cartoon. But it will go away with support of medication and with a practiced new way of thinking.  For now I have found that, and I am working hard and practicing hard.

I will enjoy life, and live it to the full. I will continue to strive to make an impact on the world and to  develop myself through creative and intelligent projects. (I have one simmering right now.)

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I have turned into a lazy husband.

So, I’ve just had a lovely afternoon out with some girls.  Afternoon tea in a very civilized hotel and lots of adult conversation.  It was absolutely delightful.  Unsurprisingly, conversation turned to babies and husbands.

Husbands.

We all love them, (at least, if we don’t then we probably shouldn’t still be married to them).  I adore mine.  I have written before about how wonderful he is, and how much he does for me in my post For My Husband. Of course, we all like a moan too.  (and I am sure they also moan about us) However, today I really started to fully appreciate mine. The girls shared frustrations about things their husbands do (or rather don’t do!). Not only did I have very little to complain about with my own husband, but I could actually see myself in the frustrations they describe.

“He leaves his clothes on the floor or by the washing basket rather than in it.”

Oh dear!  So do I!  I often joke that the laundry fairy picks up after me and somehow my clothes end up clean, ironed and back in the wardrobe.  But I know it’s no fairy.

“He expects a reward when he does something I do every day.”

Daily my husband cleans, cooks, shops and cares for our beautiful daughter.  On the rare occasion I pick up a duster, or do the washing up, I point it out, proud of myself, expecting some form of gold star for my efforts.

“He expects me to organise things for him even when I’m not there.”

If ever my husband is away, he still stocks the fridge with food for me.  He still explains what there is for me to eat and he always ensures everything is straight in the house before he goes.

“He cant see things in front of his face”

I regularly ask him where things are, having missed it when looking myself.  It usually turns out to be right in front of me.

“He never cooks, and always asks me what to give the baby”

Oh dear – my husband does all the cooking, he manages our daughter’s diet and ensures she is eating well.

“When he shops, once every six months, he rearranges the fridge and is frustrated by left over food”

My husband does the weekly food shop, he manages the cupboards and fridge and plans our meals for the week.  If I ever do shop, he provides me with a list, for fear that without one I will not consider what we actually need and instead return with just chocolate and cheese. (A likely outcome).  In fact, I don’t even get the chance to complain about leftovers as he regularly sorts through the kitchen and keeps it all organised.

“When he looks after the baby, he doesn’t play with them, he watches TV or sits at the computer”

This really is me. This is one of the many things I feel insanely guilty for, and a behaviour I wish I could stop.

Enough is enough.  My husband deserves much more respect than this.  He deserves a wife!

I change now – I do more for myself, and even more for him.  I stop being a male stereotype and start being a good wife.  The wife he deserves.

Goodness knows why he stays with me!

I love you my darling.  I promise to change. (And I really mean it this time!)